An Unfortunate Loss
This weekend I was sleeping on the back of the couch during my standard six-week summer vacation when the dog-o-phone rang. It was my closest advisor, Alberto Gonzales the Ducky, informing me that the private sector had been beckoning him for some time and he now felt it was the proper time to make a change. This perplexed me because 1) I was unaware that there was a private sector for stuffed toys, and 2) because I had always assumed that when my world domination plans came to fruition that Alberto would be there to guide me for many years. I want to now dispel the rumors that his resignation is in any way related to his testimony before the PIA review into the attempted dogpark assassination (which was actually benevolent intervention). I now state it categorically: Alberto's perjury had nothing to do with his resignation.

This is a file photo of Alberto. Clearly he looks tired and haggard.

But no mater what, I will always love Alberto and remember the long nights that we spent snuggling closely to one another on the couch.

Snarf everydog later,

/s/ Winston, Grand Duke of Pugsworth