Thursday, February 01, 2007

An Open Letter to Congressman Jim McDermott (WA-7th)
Dear Sir:

I am a non-voting constituent, but I hope that you are willing to consider a serious matter that I have recently, and quite tragically, come to to experience. First of all, allow me to state that I am a patriotic pug who has nothing but the well being of this great country at heart (see picture below).

I actually wanted the Stars and Stripes to be in the background, but Mommy and Daddy refused to assist my "propaganda," so I had to make do with a Texas Flag. What concerns me is the penchant of sadistic pug parents to "neuter" their babies. This is nothing less than savagery. In order to save this great nation I believe that it is necessary that Pugs be placed in charge. Only we pugs have the ability to restore peace and prosperity to this country.

This offer sounds great, I know, but I have a few demands. In addition to complete control of the country and all nuclear codes, I will require five pounds of cooked ground meat a day, an unlimited supply of peanut butter, and a Harem that is to be originally composed of Maggie, Suki, and Panda. Also, I demand a "Congressional authorization of the use of force" which is to be directed at all Jack Russell Terriers.

If my demands are not met we pugs will withhold all love from our owners. Based on the high concentration of pugs in Seattle it is likely that morale within the city will collapse, and the inevitable result will be that Microsoft Vista will be even crappier than originally anticipated. I hope that you will see the wisdom of my offer and remember: I shall rule firmly but benevolently.
Snarf everyone later,
/s/ Winston, Grand Duke of Pugsworth
cc: President George W. Bush, c/o Dick Cheney
Steven Colbert
Simon Cowell
Nancy Pelosi (and all other spineless Democrats)
Now, I shall nap

8 comments:

Oscar said...

We need a Jack Bauer pug!!! Then we can rule the world and no more pugs will be neutered. All will be right in the world again!!

Anonymous said...
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muppyandgertismom said...

its good to see winston really is back to his old self. gertrude volunteers to be in his harem too, although she just had her womanhood taken away a couple of days ago...

LMizzle said...

That's a lot of typing for a pug!

Kara said...

Wow Winston, power hungry much? Nevertheless, we look forward to your reign.

Auntie Roni said...

Bravo Winston. That's what I'm talking about. Keepin it real...

Anonymous said...

Awww Winston, you are adorable even when you plan world domination :D

Panda'a mom

Anonymous said...

Hi Winston, how is your plan going?
My dad takes all my pictures, he uses a Canon EOS 350D camera and a 50mm f1.8 lens and shoots everything in .RAW format for added color manipulation and edits in Photoshop mainly using the burn and dodge tool. Don't ask me how I know that, I'm smarter then they think. He's a real geek though.

He's not a photographer but a graphic designer and loves to take pictures. He has a flickr site: http://www.flickr.com/photos/ragnarfreyr which used to have pictures of all kinds of things but now only has pictures of me.

Well if you ever need a partner in crime, here I am. Tell your parents I said hello. They seem like nice people except for that neuter thing!

Take care

Panda