Tuesday, January 30, 2007

The Pug Intelligence Agency (PIA) has come through once again. I remember what happened and why I have been sore for a while. Remember those smug posts where I mocked the thought of having my manhood taken away...it turns out I should not have been so confident. Daddy assured me that he would never allow that to happen but an operative (who was in the process of developing a method to remotely lauch treats from one location to another) saw it with his own bug-eyes. Daddy and Mommy left me with that evil testicle stealer they referred to as a vet. Daddy said "bye Winston, we're going to lunch at TGI Friday's" and Mommy said "say goodbye to your balls for us" and Daddy laughed!!! This jogged my memory and proved his complicity! How could you Daddy?

This picture shows exactly how I felt upon realizing that I had been bretrayed: sad.

This post is to remind Daddy that I thought he loved me more than Big Mean Mommy. This was our first kiss, before I even got to come home from the breeder (4 weeks).

This was us the very first time we met, I was too young to kiss then (2 weeks).

This is him holding me as he explained football to me. All this love was just an act on his part.

I used to love him, too. Sometimes I slept on his sandal just so I could smell him. I don't know why I did this, I can smell him pretty much everywhere in my apartment.

He even claimed me as a native born Texan since he is; and he's a real Texan, not a transplanted Connecticut Yankee diguising his mild form of mental retardation as a Texas accent. [Parents' note: we have no idea who he is referring to.]

Why must you break my heart Daddy?

Remember the good times (7 weeks old)? When I was small and you looked really fat? I can no longer rely on you, so I shall seek help elsewhere. Auntie Roni suggested I write my Congressman, and I believe I shall.
Snarf everyone later and sorry for the angry post,
/s/ Winston, Grand Duke of Pugsworth

Sunday, January 28, 2007

[Parent's note: NEVER GIVE A DOG TYLENOL, we made this mistake but were informed of the danger by a friend. We immediately got in touch with the vet who told us one dose of baby tylenol was not dangerous but to immediately discontinue use because it could potentially shut down a dog's liver and kill them. Baby Aspirin only!!! We now return control of the blog to the Grand Duke, but we expressly reserve our right to continue commenting on his rants.] First of all, I must apologize for my parent's unauthorized and boring post last Friday about me doing fine. I am now, in fact, completely recovered, however I am not certain what happened. All I know is that for a couple of days I was really sore around my manhood area. I have tried to check what was going on but have been repeatidly stymied by the humans. The PIA (Pug Intelligence Agency) is making inquiries but progress is slow due to our agents' penchant for becoming distracted and chasing their tails. Anyways, I believe I will soon discover what happened, but first let me catch up with my fans.

This is me and my beefstick. It was actually two feet long but Daddy broke it in half (so there is more for the future). Daddy says I get it for being such a "great little sport." He's nuts.

It's yummy, but I stick my tongue out at him and his stupid picture taking.

After a while I forget about him because my massive beefstick is awesome. For those of you wondering, that pile beneath me is my Mommy, who happens to be hiding from the camera.

This says everything about how I felt on Friday. I just wasn't going anywhere. On the bright side, my parents hand fed me a dinner of good wet food which I normally only get on special occaisons. A good thing too because they forgot to feed me breakfast. [Parents' note: the vet said to cut him off from eating 12 hours before the surgery. He looked so sad and couldn't understand why we weren't giving him breakfast.]

I cannot figure out what the deal is with this. [Parents' note: the vet didn't think that he would need a cone because pugs normally can't reach down south, but little Winston is nothing if not persistent and we actually had to put it on him later. These pictures were taken solely for our amusement.]

A very annoying experience having that thing on my head. These people are starting to outlive their usefullness.

Once again, this just shows my feeling again on Friday and Saturday.

Since I wasn't feeling well my parents had to take me to a concert with them. We saw this awesome guy named George Strait or, as Daddy says, God. HE ROCKED!!!

More abuse from the Humans earlier today. [Parents' note: this one was legitimate.]

Well, I'm back to normal pretty much; although I have to wear this cone [Parents' note: our little conehead] and My parents won't let me play rough. When I finally find out what happened I will inform you and the proper authorities. I must tell you, there is an outside chance that the culprits behind my pain are aliens, but that's just an unsubstantiated gut-feeling. Even more concerning is that tonight on "Southpark" Cartman had a huge satelite dish up his behind and it looked kinda painful, but maybe I'll finally get the animal channel. Oh well.
Snarf everyone later,
/s/ Winston, Grand Duke of Pugsworth

Friday, January 26, 2007

Winston is doing fine.
We, the Grand Duke's parents, want to thank everyone for their well wishes. Little Winston is doing great, although he is not quite the man he used to be. He says that he will write about the entire experience in a few days when he's not as tender feeling; but, until then, he asks that in lieu of flowers everyone instead check out Little Suki's blog (we think he may be developing a crush on her). We were luckily able to beat the Seattle traffic and immediately snuggled Winston up in bed (the anesthesia drops their body temperature and makes them cold) and took a nap with him. Here are some pictures of his recovery.

Snuggling, and he does not look that bad.

But you can tell that it was a slightly traumatic pug experience. The vet says he should be completely back to his crazy self in about four days, but we'll make him post about the experience before then. Also, please check out his new Dogster page (click on the badge on the side of this blog).
Thanks everyone,
Winston's Humans
Lets get some karma going!!!!
As everyone should be aware, my parents intend to take my manhood away in a few hours. Since the Humans are not listening to reason I am now appealing to a higher power and seeking karma points. To this end I will be publicizing a new pug blog, that chronicles the life of an adorable pug puppy named Suki. I think that most of you are pug or dog lovers, hence your visitation of my blog. Please visit Suki, below are some teasers of this adorable puppy.

So cute. And she has good taste, that is the my football weinerdog, minus that football, that was initially my favorite toy.

We pugs are so good at these close ups.

Isn't that a pretty sweater. Please paw Silly Suki forward. There is also a link to her under "Silly Suki" on my links.
Snarf everyone later and I hope that the next time I address you I am still on possession of my testicles,
/s/ Winston, Grand Duke of Pugsworth

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Pugs Who Should Be Neutered: An Ode to Rollo
I get neutered on Friday and I am not looking forward to it (my second ball has yet to drop). I also don't understand it, my genes are so perfect that they need to be allowed to spread. Consider this: my parents wanted to get a pug because of an ugly pug named Rollo that they used to dog-sit. They used to think Rollo was cute until I came along, and now that they have viewed perfection (me) they don't want to allow me to make puglets. It didn't use to take much to impress my parents pug-wise. Rollo is what is called a "recycling pug" (eats poo) and is also so dumb that its amazing he's still alive. Luckily, his mommy loves him.

This is Rollo. Strangely, he is simultaneously not much to look at and way TOO much to look at.

He is only four, he should not look this old. But this makes me feel better about my fat roles.

Honestly, is this picture cuter than the top two?

If you had to choose between Rollo and this, which would you choose. Finally, a note on cultural sensitivity: apparently, it's not funny to suggest that people in China are summarily executed for being late to meetings, especially when making the joke to someone from communist China (one of my parents discovered this today, they were just kidding but it earned them a nasty look).
Snarf everyone later,
/s/ Winston, the Grand Duke of Pugsworth (and still in possession of both testicles).
[Parents' note: Lynn, we apologize and we have no idea why Winston believes that we think Rollo is the most disgusting creature ever to walk the face of the earth, ewww and the way he eats poo likes it's a snack. GROSS. Anyways, the opinions expressed above are solely those of the Grand Duke and other members of his household...DOH!]

Sunday, January 21, 2007

My fun weekend:
I had a blast this weekend! I slept a lot, I played a lot, and I watched the spawns of Satan (otherwise known as the New England Patriots) go down in flames after coming so close (that makes their loss all the more sweet). [Parent's note: so young yet so bitter...we have no idea why.] The only bummer was that my commando attempt to break Duke and Gidget out of Doggy Haven failed and they will have to spend the next week there until their parents come home from vacation. Anyways, here are some cute pictures of me.

This weekend I spent most of my time lounging around on my bed (notice my face, I'm hiding from the camera).

I also got acquainted with my old best friend's blue twin brother!! [Parent's Note: Remember Winston's very first BFF, the football wiener dog? Well Winston destroyed that long ago, and we finally got around to buying him a new one. It's like they were never apart! Also, we fixed the old weinerdog and Winston destroyed it again in a day.]

AND, I went to a pug meetup. We had been there about 1 second before my Daddy abandoned me for this little thing that he kept calling "Otis". Otis was a 12 week old puglet, weighing in at a whopin' 7 pounds. I was never that small. [Parent's note: we finally understand why everyone was initially so goo-goo over Winston. He was just over half that size when we first got him.]

Daddy also kept saying something about "love at first sight" and something about wanting to trade...

I finally got to sniff this "Otis" and see what it was all about...I didn't see what the big deal was.

Daddy also fell in love with this little guy named Wonton, he's four months old and quite a bit smaller than me.

Here Otis (Left, on the lap) and Wonton (right, also on the lap) were getting to know each other, while I ran around Otis' Mommy, confused because she wasn't giving me any attention. Normally when people sit on the floor at the pug meetups, I get all the attention!

Here I am with Otis and some other pugs. That's me in the harness, Otis is the little guy.

And here are some other pugs, but I am not even in this picture! I have no idea why my Daddy took this picture! I have no idea how he snuck it onto my blog! Traitor!

This is my good friend Oliver. He is one month younger than me. We met at the dog park, and then his Mommy decided to take him to the pug meetup. At first Oliver's Mommy was worried that Oliver played too rough with me, but my Daddy assured her that I am just a wuss and that Oliver's spunk would be good for me. I have to admit, I did have a lot of fun wrestling with Oliver after that! I must say that Oliver has a dignified look here, like he has the weight of the pug world upon, or maybe he's just bummed that he's not playing.

Oliver's Mommy made the mistake of getting out treats at the pug meetup and saying the magic word - "sit". Oliver and I wasted no time (that's me on the left, Oliver is on the right).

A third pug came over to get a treat...we all had to keep waiting and waiting while my Daddy took pictures of us all sitting. Notice two things about this picture: (1) I am the only good dog; (2) Oliver is falling for a trick I haven't fallen for since I was about 8 weeks old: my Mommy was only pretending to have a treat, to get us dogs to sit so Daddy could take pictures. Oliver's Mommy is the one with the real treats. Here, Oliver is jumping up on my Mommy's legs and licking her empty hand while I am still focused on Oliver's Mommy and the real treats. I am the only good dog, AND the only smart dog.

Otis quickly ran out of energy. I have to admit the little thing is kind of cute...

Um, okay, so this is the same picture; even Grand Dukes like me make mistakes. The problem is that blogspot sucks - if I erase just this one picture, the entire post will go away. So you all will just have to enjoy double Otis.

Here is a group photo. I am on the end (my Mommy has a white coat and is kneeling on the bottom left), with my tongue hanging out.

Snarf everyone later,
/s/ Winston, Grand Duke of Pugsworth

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

A Slow Week In Seattle.
I don't know if anyone watched American Idol tonight, but the introductory line about Seattle was the people here "love the rain, they love their dogs (multiple dogs were shown waiting in line), and they love to yell." The rain sucks and yelling scares me, but it is completely understandable why they love their dogs. See below for a clearer explanation.

People love dogs in Seattle because some approach (but just barely), my cuteness. This is me sitting on top of my Daddy's growing bald spot.

Reason #2 that people absolutely love their dogs.

Here, I am learning to be inconspicuous so that I can be a secret agent.

Look at that fat roll on my neck. Holy Cow!!!

My parents think that it's strange that I seem able to comfortably rest in any position.

But it is really comfortable, and I could sleep much better if Daddy would get that damn camera out of my face.

I love my football weinerdog, which was recently reincarnated with the help of Mommy and numerous patches and spools of thread.

Hello ;)

Good sleep, make me very happy.

This was me after Mommy and Daddy snuck me into "A Comedy of Errors." I thought the writing was outstanding but the 8:30 playtime was just too late for a sleepy pug. I spent most the time licking the dried up coke from underneath the seat next to Daddy. The person in that seat thought that it was strange to have a pug as a seeing eye dog, but Mommy assured him that I was just beginning training. (Parent's note: none of that happened. Although we did want to take Winston to the play we did not because we did not think that he would appreciate the plot, or forego peeing on the floor or running onto stage.)
Snarf everyone later,
/s/ Winston, Grand Duke of Pugsworth