Wednesday, June 27, 2007

PIA, WE NEVER SLEEP
I watched "The Good Shepherd" this weekend with my parents and, in addition to the killing and conniving, I was quite impressed with the ritual of the skull and bones; and I realize that PIA cannot survive based on its reputation alone. From now on the Pug Intelligence Agency will be a secret society full of ritual and butt sniffing.

This is me- I am authorized to announce that I am the Head of the Recruitment Directorate. I cannot disclose my overall position in the Agency but, like another "W", my rapid promotion was based largely on my lineage- as opposed to being based upon any qualification or intelligence. It rocks to be born into privilege!!!

The selection process is quite grueling. This recruit, Codenamed "Gorby," was ultimately determined not to be up to snuff and was run off. [Parents' note: We just talked to Gorby's people yesterday and Gorby is doing great. He has a big backyard and a Boston Terrier brother that actually likes him.]
This is Gorby miserably failing the quite simple "follow me" command.

This is actually my tapping out to join PIA. I cannot disclose the identity of this pug because he still on deep cover, attempting to get close enough to smother either some Jack Russell Terrier puppies (the Pug's mortal enemy) or any cat (target of opportunity).

Here, me and another veteran PIA member carefully inspect a young pup. He was ultimately selected to continue PIA training; so it would be a gross security violation to tell you that his name was Otis, and his mission is to recover the destroyed toys that my parents have hid on top of their dresser.

One of the last tests for a PIA trainee is to hunt down and kill a dog that has been declared an "undesirable." This little guy actually suceeded, but then attempted to eat this dog's still beating heart. He was subsequently ordered to undergo a follow up psychiatric examination. Note that no PIA member is ever alone, we always back each other up.

I like to run my new ideas by my most trusted advisor. Like Alberto Gonzales, he always gives me the answers that I want to hear.

World domination is an all encompassing profession, so I do occaisonally doze off.

But like any good secret agent...I sleep with one eye open!

Snarf everydog later,
/s/ Winston, Grand Duke of Pugsworth

5 comments:

Oscar said...

I accept full responsibilities of being the Columbus Agent. What are my duties? Also, I want to comment that you think Jack Russel Terriers are the enemy of pugs? Interesting you say that because when I am out on my walks, I pass a JRT. He is always bent on destroying me, but one of these days.....

Suki said...

HAHAHA! Winston, you are so clever. I have missed your diabolical, scheming posts.

Puggy kisses
Suki

Pugsley, Buster & Cricket said...

Wow, we not know about the PIA. Thanks for letting us know. Maybe we be looking over our shoulders at all times now.

xoxoBuster, Pugsley and Cricket

Duke & Gidget said...

Hey Winston, we definitely want to join the PIA, but only if we can be in charge of butt sniffing.

Regarding your question about our party hats, our mom actually made those for us out of this plastic mesh stuff and some felt. She made them a long time ago, and doesn't even remember where she got the stuff she used. Apparently, it was not an enjoyable experience, as she has since retired from the party hat making business for good. See you Sunday.

Pug Mommy said...

Maggie says she feels so much safer knowing that you are in charge. She also wants you to know that due to her small size she is available for any confined spaces missions on an "as needed" basis.

Napoleon is stilled pissed about the "stay puff marshmallow" pug comment.